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I so appreciate obituaries written in first person. They are rare gems, at least in my daily newspaper, the Mankato Free Press. The majority of people here are still rooted fairly firmly in Midwestern culture, a culture in which obituaries have always been written by families with the assistance of funeral directors.
Anne Walsh’s obituary exudes love, humor, and an appreciation for a life well-lived. I did not know Anne; when I worked at the Free Press I rarely had to cover the cops beat. I may have met her once or twice in passing in the late 1990s. But we have several mutual acquaintances and I know she was well-respected in the community.
Why do you think we don’t see more first-person obituaries? Or am I not looking in the right place?
If You Have Five Seconds to Spare 
Rachel, thank you for honoring Anne in your blog. My name is Pam Soper…her soul mate, partner, and finally wife of over 19 years. I wish you had really know Anne, but her obituary certainly did allow people a view into her soul. I miss her so very much…the pain is breath-taking…but seeing how she has touched so many lives helps a lot. If you want to get to know even more, her Caring Bridge site is wonderful. She did most of the writing, and I helped when she was not able to do so herself. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/annewalsh
So many people have asked us to write a book about her journey (it started way before her cancer diagnosis in 2009), and I plan on doing so.
Hi Pam,
It’s nice to hear from you. Thanks for posting the Caring Bridge link. I indeed hope you write a book about all of this. I’d be happy to point you in the direction of good resources.
Hello Rachael.
I would so appreciate your input for the book. Anne has quite the story, starting with severe, career-ending PTSD that started in 2006 (I have all of her journal writings from that time), and then the diagnosis of ovarian cancer in 2009. There are also stories from her years in the service. My e-mail is paws@hickorytech.net
I’ve never seen a first-person obituary before – but then again, I don’t regularly read the obits like you do! This one has so much more personality than any obituary I’ve ever read. But think of how many people won’t even write wills because they’re too afraid to admit they might die. I imagine it would be even harder to have people write their own obituaries. Maybe that person’s loved ones would have a hard time watching them do it, too. Anyway, this was beautiful – thanks for sharing it. Maybe you should start a website where you collect first-person obits and encourage others to to write their own?
I think you’re right, Kara. I have a feeling people who write their own obits are facing inevitable death. Otherwise, just as in writing wills as you point out, people have fear confronting their mortality. It’s interesting–we usually want control over all parts of our lives, but in death we are willing to cede control and leave the decisions to others.
This is what an obituary should be. I don’t know if many people her position, facing the end of life, are that settled with the inevitable. It’s beautiful. We should all have to write our obituary every year, just in case.
Good point, Amy–maybe it’s a matter of feeling “settled.”
I really like this idea. Obits in the first person. And a chance for me to have the last word! Ha!
It was pretty clear in this particular obit that Anne wanted the last word!